Today I went to get a pedicure. I walked in and was seated in my chair. A few minutes later a young black woman came in and was seated next to me. We exchanged smiles and began enjoying our services. A few minutes later a few other ladies walked in: twin sisters and an older woman. One of the twins sneezed and several people said "bless you." The older woman said something else to her about the sneeze and she looked over and said, "I wasn't talking to you," then turned back around. It was so rude that the older lady just kind of laughed and stopped talking.
My pedicure neighbor and I couldn't believe what had just occurred, and we looked at each other in disbelief. This unnecessary display of negative, unkind behavior immediately turned our moods sour, and we began a conversation about the current state of our nation and increasing lack of respect that seems to be permeating our society at all levels.
We discussed cultural differences (especially between black and white), communication difficulties and misconceptions, and Trump's current debacle with professional athletes. As it turns out, she is a server at a local restaurant and talked about the disrespect that she experiences by her patrons regularly. I, of course, talked about being a teacher and trying to help students learn how to communicate effectively, respectfully, and with kindness. What we really really wanted to do was have a rumble with the rude twin, but knew it wouldn't change anything. If you are a nasty person, you are a nasty person. Period.
Afterwards we both realized that we were in much better spirits, and that the conversation between a 41 year old white woman and a 30 year old black woman was productive, kind, and respectful. When you put others' feelings above your own and give people the benefit of the doubt, logic and compassion prevail. We listened and were inspired by each others' stories.
I finished my service and began paying, and my new friend was at the table next to the register. She wished me well and we encouraged each other to continue being kind to others. It inspired me to pay for her service, and she was overcome with gratitude. She asked me to come to her restaurant where she would return the gesture. We both decided we needed to pay kindness forward to all people and that we had been experienced something extraordinary on a random Sunday.
Bottom line. Be kind to people. Don't assume people are jerks. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Listen. And when others turn out to be jerks, talk about how to better yourself and pay it forward.
And my toes look nice too.
