Fastforward. It's January and I don't know what to do with myself. I have taken on more responsibilities at church, for JDRF, at Winding Vista, and at GAC. I have started new programs, made my own Christmas cards, made Christmas gifts, organized, volunteered, and exercised. I have also relaxed and recognized the fact that I am lucky to be in this position right now. After all, who gets to slow down halfway through life to re-examine priorities? I have been teaching since I was 20 years old.
It comes down to one thing. I miss it.
Don't get me wrong. I have loved being a TA. I didn't know if I could handle not being in charge, but it has really been a good and humbling learning experience. I get to know the families at GAC without having to be directly responsible for children's educations. This has afforded me the time and energy to learn the climate there, which is very different than what I have always known. Running for the School of Music and the School of Ballet has also been rewarding, as I have met a few very cool people I feel fortunate to know.
Yet, I still yearn for the classroom. Why can't I be satisfied with God's plan for me right now. I keep trying to change my course and constantly forget it's not mine to change. He has already mapped it all out.
So, I'm still searching. I don't know what is in store for me. I want to be used. To make an impact. To help.
Most of all, I want not to want...and to be able to fully trust Him.
