Kids deal with death in really weird ways.

"Boys, we need to tell you something." said John at 7am this morning. "Mr. Quinn passed away last night. He is up in heaven and won't be able to teach you karate anymore."

Silence. Silence. (Then, a little eye rubbing by William. Thomas was still processing.)

"Are you guys ok? William? Thomas?"

"I'm ok. So...I don't get to go to karate anymore." said William.

"Yeah, I'm ok. I'm just trying to be strong and brave. Can I have an email address?" asked Thomas.

Kids really have strange ways of coping with loss or the thought of loss. I really expected my kids to break down at the prospect of not seeing Mr. Quinn again. He was such a positive and respectful man. We know of so many kids whose lives were improved because of his influence. I could see William growing up with him as a mentor and earning his black belt.

When I think of the loss that so many children are going to feel because he is not here, it makes me want to cry. He was very good with boys who were difficult and with children whose parents had a hard time parenting. He taught self-respect and self-esteem by modeling those behaviors and talking to kids about self-defense. He didn't tolerate disrespectful behavior and no one questioned that he had the best interest of all kids in his heart.

"Can I have an email address?" really isn't the best way to deal with the loss of a role model. But really, has Thomas had to lose a role model? Does he realize the impact that Mr. Quinn's death will make on countless children and adults alike? The answer is no. He hasn't dealt with loss and he doesn't understand. I think I am thankful that the first real loss my boys are being dealt has been met with somewhat standoffish behavior. It's like they really don't know how to behave. By being supportive and encouraging them to talk about their feelings, I think we are making our boys' journey into losing important people in their lives a little smoother.

We wrote cards to Mr. Quinn today and took them to AK Karate and taped them on the board. We will go to class and hear what his loved ones have to say to help us all deal with his loss. John and I will go and view his body and pay respects and the boys will participate in a class tribute to Mr. Quinn on Wednesday. After that, we will begin the process of questioning and remembering and applying what was learned at his death to the boys' future experiences.

Honestly, though, we are more upset about the loss of a man who could teach our children how to become better men. Clearly, there are fewer and fewer of them.

I hope Mr. Quinn is looking down on us and realizing what a wonderful inspiration he was.

L