that accepting Christ can happen in many different ways.

It happens every time. I am sitting in church and someone chooses that day, time, and parish to accept Jesus into his/her life.  I try to repeat what is on page 34 of the hymnal, but I am so moved by this choice, that I can't even repeat my responses because of the huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

Usually it is a child who is being baptized. That child has a family and friends to celebrate this big day in the life of a Christian. The family has prepared and given loved ones sufficient notice of this very important date. These are usually babies, who have no idea of the commitment they are making. Their parents are following the Methodist tradition, a beautiful tradition, that saves them until they are ready to make their own commitments to God as a young adult.

Today, though, I witnessed something very different. A woman, whom I had not met, came forward during the final hymn to join our church. She was alone and clearly had not let anyone know her intentions of joining on this day. Usually, people transfer their faith from another parish or denomination. This woman was different.  She had no one to stand with her and she had not been baptized. She chose this particular moment to accept Christ and join our church without any prior notice.

I was overcome with emotion. From the time she walked to the front of the church during the last hymn, through the helpers running to retrieve water for the unannounced baptism, through the baptism itself-seeing her standing alone, and finally to the prayer that affirmed to her that we will support her as a family, I was moved.

Usually there is much pomp and circumstance surrounding this life-changing experience. Today, there was no pomp, no circumstance, and no personal witness this woman brought with her. It was very simple and unceremonious, which was the reason why I found myself humbled to witness such a beautiful scene.

God reveals himself to us when we least expect it. I felt very close to Him today. For that, I am thankful.

The significance of my childhood in my life.

I attended the wedding of a dear family friend last night.  This child, whom I used to babysit, no longer is a child, but a beautiful young woman starting her own life as a newlywed. 

The wedding was short and sweet-the reception was not.  Talk about fun.  We danced, ate, drank, danced, talked, squealed, hugged, danced, and reminisced the entire night, surrounded by those many familiar faces that I will always know no matter how long I am gone from my childhood home. 

These people helped to shape me into the person I am today.   They gave me such a sense of community and love.  We grew up at CUMC and that church truly was our family.  We kids are all grown up now with kids of our own, but I felt like a kid again being in their presence.  I just slid right back into my role as Paula and Fred’s daughter, or one of the Inman girls, just as if no time had passed.

If my parents had not chosen Cabot as our home, we would not have known any of them.  They were church leaders, my piano teacher, family friends, dad's patients, community business people, and Sunday School teachers.  I babysat their children, lifeguarded for them at the country club summer after summer, and experienced the ups and downs of life through their watchful eyes.  I know their stories, their personalities, their strengths and weaknesses.  I know their moms and dads and grandparents.  I have seen them get married and I have seen some of them die. I now realize that they were so significant to my life while I was learning who I was supposed to become.

Everyone has childhood memories.  Some are unremarkable, but mine are so intertwined with my being.  I was shaped by them and still I look to the most special people for guidance and reassurance, especially now that one of the most significant people in my life is no longer here.

It's not as easy as it was 30 years ago.  Things are not as safe and we don’t live in a small town.  I do hope, though, that I can give me kids the same important relationships that they will always cherish, even when they are busy adults with kids of their own.  My kids will take piano.  They will sing in the church choir, join the youth group and play handbells.  They will get to try all of the things they want to try so that they can confidently make the best decisions for their futures.

To be part of the wedding last night was one of the highlights of my year. Being considered part of such a precious family is one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me.  I know my sisters agree that it is so humbling to share their past. 

Ultimately, we have our parents to thank for that.  They chose our community.  They chose which friendships to cultivate.  They chose to give us every opportunity to try everything we wanted to try.   I am so thankful, yet I feel undeserving.  How did I get to be so lucky?  Even today.  I still wonder and am truly moved by God’s gifts.  I believe that my past is one of His gifts and I will always be in awe of it.

I am still searching.

When I ended my career in DeKalb County, I thought it was going to be great.  No more lesson plans, paperwork, and nonsense for a while.  I would be free to volunteer my time for the boys, for the community, and to work on my personal relationships.  

Fastforward.  It's January and I don't know what to do with myself.  I have taken on more responsibilities at church, for JDRF, at Winding Vista, and at GAC.  I have started new programs, made my own Christmas cards, made Christmas gifts, organized, volunteered, and exercised.  I have also relaxed and recognized the fact that I am lucky to be in this position right now.  After all, who gets to slow down halfway through life to re-examine priorities?  I have been teaching since I was 20 years old.

It comes down to one thing.  I miss it.  

Don't get me wrong.  I have loved being a TA.  I didn't know if I could handle not being in charge, but it has really been a good and humbling learning experience.  I get to know the families at GAC without having to be directly responsible for children's educations.  This has afforded me the time and energy to learn the climate there, which is very different than what I have always known.  Running for the School of Music and the School of Ballet has also been rewarding, as I have met a few very cool people I feel fortunate to know.  

Yet, I still yearn for the classroom.  Why can't I be satisfied with God's plan for me right now.  I keep trying to change my course and constantly forget it's not mine to change.  He has already mapped it all out.

So, I'm still searching.  I don't know what is in store for me.  I want to be used. To make an impact. To help.  

Most of all, I want not to want...and to be able to fully trust Him.